26 February 2013

My big personal secret....…what's caused change of shopping habits..

My shopping habits have changed, and my makeup, skincare impulse buys and even more so, my sneaky shoe purchases have been replaced by a new addition..

You see, I have been hiding something very personal for quite some time now…

Last year was a tough year. It felt time was just ticking by and I didn’t achieve what I had set out to achieve. Although, one of the positive things that did come out of it, was starting this blog, simply as a way of distracting myself...(something that I now wish I had done a lot sooner!).

You see, after years of trying, we finally embarked on the journey of IVF as the only hope of ever having children. And so started the countless of doctors and specialist visits. Even before the treatment could start, there were preliminary tests including blood tests, ultrasounds, and not to mention a laporoscopy, and those of you who have had one, will know it is not very pleasant, especially the recovery!

Then came the actual IVF treatments, and I very quickly felt like a pin-cushion from having to inject myself with hormones twice a day – and I can’t exactly say that I was thrilled at the thought of pricking myself with a big needle, but after the first one, it was actually surprisingly easy! And besides, it had to be done, it was the only way. And then there were all the numerous additional blood tests and ultrasounds, and not to mention the admission for the actual egg collection. It almost felt as if we were living at the hospital as we started to get to know all the names of the staff!

Then came the big day of the embryo transfer, and then we had to wait the long two weeks to see if it was positive. It wasn’t! Needless to say that we were devastated. How long was this journey going to be? Was it ever going to end? Was I ever going to get pregnant?

We were then faced with a two month long wait, before we could start a new round of IVF ….more needles, more hospital visits, more blood tests and ultrasounds – and of course, more, heaps more money out of the bank account…

After the embryo transfer we again had the two week wait, and this time, we had the fantastic news…it was positive. I was actually pregnant. We were so happy….but sadly it was short-lived, and four weeks later at the 8-week ultrasound, it was discovered that our little jelly bean had stopped growing and the heart stopped beating. I had miscarried.
This meant more visits to the doctor and going to the hospital to have the curette to have the miscarriage removed. Needless to say that I felt pretty mediocre and empty afterwards….!

And then we were faced with an even longer wait of several months before my body recovered and returned to 'normal' again and we could start thinking about yet another round of IVF… but finally it came, and yet again, as sadly we had not been so lucky to have any spare embryos that had been frozen, I was a pin cushion injecting myself twice daily with hormone injections.

Then finally came the day of the embryo transfer….and I was so devastated when the doctor at the very last minute decided to cancel the transfer as he feared that I would develop ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, something which in severe cases can be life-threatening. 

The six healthy embryos would be frozen, and one to be transferred a few months later when I had fully recovered. So yet again, we left the hospital feeling very sad and depressed, not exactly what we had hoped for. And a further blow came later that afternoon, when we got the call from the hospital telling us that only one of the six embryos had been suitable for freezing! The odds were certainly not in our favour!

Then came another long wait of a few months, until finally the day came where we went in for the embryo transfer. I was a mess. Just the thought that the one frozen embryo we had left might not actually survive the thawing process. But the embryo, which we started calling Number Six, simply because it had come from petri dish number six, survived, and the transfer went ahead as planned.

Then the long two week wait started before the blood test, and time was just ticking by. I tried to be positive and optimistic, but it was difficult at times - but finally came the day when I went in for the blood test. And then came the long wait until the afternoon for the hospital to call with the result - if felt like a lifetime! But to our relief it was positive – I was pregnant again.

Because of the previous miscarriage earlier in the year, I admit to having been more anxious the last few months….and consequently we decided not to tell anyone at all about my pregnancy until the first and most risky period, the first trimester had passed….
But I’m now so excited to be able to share that I am in fact just over 23 weeks pregnant…..that’s right 23 weeks….over half way there!! And the little guy, yep, it’s a little boy, is starting to keep me awake at night as he is moving and kicking around. We are just so ecstatic happy, and we so can't wait to meet him in a few months time.

And as for my previous shopping habits…as I no longer feel comfortable in high heels, can’t fit into 'normal' clothes any more, and have had to re-think the skincare products that I use - well that means that my shopping habits have now been replaced with shopping for baby gear, and I’ve only just started as the list of necessary items seems endless....and not forgetting all the 'too-cute' items that I just cannot resist buying..

Over the next months I may do the odd pregnancy or baby related post here and there, but I will do my best not to get too carried away and turn this into a baby blog, - but do let me know if I do - this is after all a beauty and lifestyle blog!!

I’d love to hear your tips for a first time mum? Any products (beauty/or baby) that are must-haves? And any that are a complete waste of time and money?


  1. Yay and yay again PF! Heaps of congratulations to you and your husband - what a heartbreaking and equally joyous story. The best of wishes to you and your new family my dear, and long may you love #6 :-)

  2. I am so thrilled for you!! Congratulations. I have a very close friend of mine who has a very similar story to tell and she is now the mother of two beautiful girls. The first one was an IVF baby and the second was a surprise after they had used all of her embryos and were deciding whether to go through it again. Hope you are feeling great and that the next few months go really well for you. xx

  3. Congratulations! That was such a heart wrenching yet ultimately lovely post. Shopping for baby bits would be even more exciting! Thank you for sharing something so personal xx

  4. Amazing story! Congratulations :)

  5. Amazing story and one that I've witnessed a close friend go through too (she went through IVF 5 times before giving birth to a baby girl). It is really eye opening as to how many women struggle to fall pregnant - something some of us take for granted.

    I hope the remainder of your pregnancy with Number Six runs smoothly and look forward to hearing of your little blessing once he/she arrives.

  6. Aw I am so chuffed for you hun, I hope you have a fantastic pregnancy, aww xx


  7. awww, congrats hun :) Thanks for sharing something so personal with us

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  8. Congratulations!! Please keep us updated on your pregnancy progress! :)

  9. Thrilled for you. Take care, mega hugs to you and your husband - the dogs DO know they're in for some changes I hope???? Lovely news.

  10. I am SO happy for you! Congratulations! I hope you have a wonderful remainder of your pregnancy and your boy comes into this world happy and healthy. :-) Congrats to the both of you!

  11. So happy that its finally happened for you, I know how it feel it took me 3 year to get pregnant with my first and then 2 year with my second which I only have 4 week until I meet him.

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  12. Congratulations, what a long road - and believe me it's only the beginning, for the next 18 years and beyond you will be rolling your eyes and saying "the things we go through for our kids!"
    And you will be grateful for every sleepless minute :)

  13. Congrats that is so exciting! I can't wait to hear about your experiences with a new bub!

  14. Congrats, such exciting news!!

  15. Congrats, such exciting news. Looking forward to the bub posts!

  16. Many congrats dear .so exciting post that was. I enjoying lot.

  17. I am so touched by all of these lovely comments, thank you all so much!!!

  18. Congratulations to you both!!
    I completely understand the roller coaster of emotions you and your husband would have experienced going through IVF to have a family of your own. After 14 years of fertility treatment, three miscarriages , we now have a beautiful son through adoption. We feel so blessed to be finally a family of three!!
    Just enjoy every moment of being a mum, even when you are sleep deprived and tired one look , smile and cuddle from your son will make it all worth while. You really learn to appreciate the simple things in life....


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